fire in the face

Over time my fire crept through my neck into my face. I had three very clear points of fire happening in my face. I could not smile properly. People asked me what was wrong all the time because it was hard for me to even breathe through my pain often.

My family physician was still laughing at me. Telling me he wouldn’t order the mri I was requesting, but would order a CT scan of my brain instead because my problem was in my brain.

I went for a CT scan of my brain and when I went to see my Dr about it he said it was normal and nothing was wrong with me. It was all in my head and I have anxiety. That wasn’t even the point that I stormed out of his office because I didn’t want to be without a family physician and I was way too depressed to function nevermind find myself a new Dr, that sounded like a monumental task and I was already mental.

My Massage Therapist went to travel the world and I found a new MT… who was also studying Osteopathy. She could feel my trigeminal throbbing and was able to relax it using craniosacral therapy. I was overwhelmed with joy about being able to find help with my problem. My gains were so slow, but I never gave up. There were times when she saw me for free because I was poor and it was in her heart to help people. Bless her heart!

I continued my decent into madness though. I could feel my vision had changed and when I went to the optometrist indeed it had gotten worse. From tight muscles and fascia of a creeping injury!? It sounded nuts. I felt nuts; I started watching Acland’s Anatomy (cadaver dissection for educational purposes) videos to try and understand what was going on. IT WAS SO HELPFUL BUT SOOOOOO GROOOSSSS. There were times when I could only watch 2 minutes at a time or much less and I needed very long breaks in between. Yuck! But it was in fact very helpful in terms of me understanding truly where my pain was coming from and what was happening inside my body.

I was lucky it was the kind that comes and goes… I told myself that a lot.

And I was right! I still feel lucky it was the kind to come and go.